Archive for November, 2009

Ninety. No, wait - 89.

Friday, November 20th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

A letter from one Professor Robert P. Watson of Lynn University has been making its rounds on the Interwebs today. It’s titled “90 Accomplishments of President Obama Which The Media Fails To Report.” It’s a mouthful, but it’s worth it.

See the whole letter here.

Before we go any further, let’s figure out who this Robert Watson is. According to his Wikipedia page, Watson is a Democrat - big surprise there. We also see that he’s in favour of universal healthcare and strengthening environment protections - again, two big plans for Obama during his term in office. So basically, we need to take what the good professor says, with a grain of salt.

Still. Let’s take a look at some of the more interesting “accomplishments” on the list:

10. Limits on lobbyist’s access to the White House

11. Limits on White House aides working for lobbyists after their tenure in the administration

(I wrote about this here)
27. The secret detention facilities in Eastern Europe and elsewhere are being closed
(This isn’t so much impressive as it is confounding. Are these prisons being kept secret from enemies… or from non-enemies? When you think about it, there’s really nothing guaranteeing any promises made about something secret, are kept. This is a non-item, if you ask me. We’re down to 89 accomplishments)
46. Closed offshore tax safe havens

47. Negotiated deal with Swiss banks to permit US government to gain access to records of tax evaders and criminals
(Fighting corruption. Good stuff.)
72. Authorized discussions with North Korea and private mission by Pres. Bill Clinton to secure the release of two Americans held in prisons
73. Authorized discussions with Myanmar and mission by Sen. Jim Web to secure the release of an American held captive
(Diplomacy. Nice.)
78. Limited salaries of senior White House aides; cut to $100,000
(I enjoyed this particular announcement when it broke several months ago. Politics is already driven by money enough.)

85. Paid for redecoration of White House living quarters out of his own pocket
(Is this a huge deal? Nah. Does it do anything for US citizens? Not really - maybe it’s saving a few bucks. It’s just indicative of a particular kind of attitude in a man looked up to by countless millions. It’s symbolic.)
Oh, and he built a swing set for the girls outside the Oval Office!
Cute.
I should also mention that several of the accomplishments begin with something like, “Has announced intention to…”
Awesome. I’m revising my resume to include: “Has announced intention to build rocket ship to Jupiter” and “Is expecting to float around the world in a hot-air balloon.”
And let’s also keep in mind that this is a list of the positive accomplishments of Obama.  A list of the not-so-positive ones wouldn’t be as impressive:
- Has approved of warrant-less wiretapping
- Endorsed indefinite detention for some prisoners
- Endorsed increased missile attacks in Pakistan
…and it goes on…
Anyways, it’s a fascinating list, all things considered. As Professor Watson mentioned in his letter, Obama’s level of activity is rivaling that of LBJ or FDR, the presidential benchmarks for work accomplished in the first year of a term.

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The big bow

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Obama bowed. He bent his body at the waist and directed his eyes to the floor, whilst holding another man’s hand.

OUTRAGE! SCANDAL! TABOO! PERVERSION! TERRORISM! Er, sorry. Got carried away. But that’s the general consensus in Washington right now:

“…it’s not appropriate for an American president to bow to a foreign one,” says “Smarmy” Bill Kristol.

“It’s ugly. I don’t want to see it,” says Bill Bennett.

“I puked everywhere, immediately upon viewing it,” says… uh, generic right-winger…? Okay, made that one up, too. But you get the picture. The Conservatives are up in arms over this apparent cuckolding of the Commander-in-Chief.

Nevermind that the man Obama is bowing to is Emperior Akihito of Japan. Nevermind that an Obama official has stated that the president was “just following protocol.” Nevermind that the bow is, according to Wikipedia, a “gesture of respect” and not a mark of inferiority in any way.

What exactly would his opponents have him do? Beat up the Emperor on sight to establish his dominance? My feeling is that no matter how Obama greeted the Emperor, there would have been a problem.

How about a kiss on the cheek? This is a fairly formal gesture popular all over the world. It’s a greeting as well as a show of friendship and respect.

…buuuut it sure is feminine. We’d hate to look inferior to Japan (because we all know that femininity = inferiority!) Next!

Oh, what about a Anjali mudra? That’s an Indian greeting or show of respect which involves one sandwiching their hands together and raising them up to the greetee.

…too weird. Too foreign. Too… Asian. Next!

Fist bump? Too informal.

High five? Nothing to celebrate!

Hug? Too creepy.

Hat-tipping? What is this, the 1910’s?

Bottomline: it’s a bow, it’s not sacrilege.

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Health care reform bill clears first hurdle (most Americans still unable to spell “hurdle”)

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments

In what has been a brutal war of rhetoric and mudslinging, Obama has scored the first major blow of the health care reform battle. On Saturday, the House of Representatives passed the health care bill. From there, it will go to be voted on in the Senate, and finally signed by Obama himself.

Look (WARNING: VENTURING INTO OPINION TERRITORY! ABORT! ABORT!), let’s take a reeeeally basic look at this whole “debate.”

11:15 - restate my assumptions.

1. America is the most advanced (culturally, technologically, scientifically, financially, militarily) country in the world without some form of universal health care.

2. The United States of America has fifty million uninsured, the highest per capita medical costs and millions pushed into bankruptcy… over medical bills.

3. America may not have universal health care, but Iraq and Afghanistan do… and it’s paid for by the American government.

4. I’ve got a bunch more, but I really want to skip right to the all-too-obvious conclusion.

Therefore: America’s health care system is retarded. I tried to come up with some clever analogies, some witty ways of saying it… but c’mon. Why try to reinvent the wheel?

I mean…! Ahhh…! Exasperated exhalation…!

What kills me is the resistance to clearly necessary change. Well, necessary if America wants to avoid some sort of “Escape From L.A.” wasteland scenario in the next 20 years. The Glenn Beck morons, the 9/12′ers, the Teabaggers* and, most recently, the anti-abortionists - all, in some way or another, possessing reasons to oppose this bill.

UGHHHH. How can something so fundamentally, basically, reasonably “right” like keeping people alive and not dead, be such an issue of contest? I have a theory: Fox News is including in their broadcasts, accidentally or not, an extremely rare frequency that unlocks certain, long-dormant areas of the brain. The areas that, when stimulated, gave our Neanderthal ancestors the urge to wrestle dinosaurs**.

Listen, I get the feeling that reading over my past few posts might paint me as a stubbornly steadfast Obama fanboy That ain’t the case, Slim. The guy’s a politician - he fucks up all the time:

He lies.

He breaks promises.

HE SMOKED CANNABIS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

He’s got his shortcomings just like every other politician out there. He’s no messiah; he’s no JFK; he’s just a politician.

…who happens to get it right kinda often.

*Sorry, I think I may have listed the same group three times.

**It’s their fantasy; I’m just playing along.

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